Why dating is hard for millennial men

College-educated millennial women shouldn’t blame themselves for being single. Apparently, there just aren’t enough available men. According to a US Census poll, there are 107 million unmarried Americans over 18 as of 2014, and more than half of them are female. What’s with the dismal figures? According to one dating expert, it’s all in the math.

There's not enough men

“For the past 15 years, we've had four women graduate from college in the US for every three men, and this gender imbalance is spilling over into the post-college dating market,” Jon Birger, author of DATE-ONOMICS and Fortune magazine contributor told us Thursday. “There are now 5.5 million women in the US versus only 4.1 million men who are college graduates aged 22 to 29. That's 33 percent more women than men. No wonder women find dating difficult!”

A surplus of single women will influence dating behavior

“Sociologists, psychologists and economists have done a ton of research on sex ratios, and the consensus is clear. When men are in oversupply, the dating culture is more traditional and more monogamous,” Birger explained. “But when women are in oversupply -- as they are today among millennial college grads -- the dating culture is less monogamous and more libertine; women are more likely to be treated as sex objects rather than as romantic love interests.”

DATE-ONOMICS takes an honest look at the modern dating scene through a statistical and social lens, identifying behaviors among both genders who actively date.

“One of the ways I apply the scholarly research on sex ratios to modern dating is by using colleges as case studies. College campuses are useful because they act as self-contained dating pools. Students tend to only date other students,” Birger explained.

Birger ranked 35 major public and private colleges by gender ratios, then paired that data with students’ own reviews of their schools' dating environments.

“What I found is that those colleges that are either fifty-fifty or are disproportionately male have much more traditional dating cultures, whereas the schools that are 60% or more female tend to have the wildest hookup cultures," Birger said.

Don’t blame technology

Unlike some dating experts and doctors, Birger doesn’t blame apps like Tinder, Hinge or OkCupid for the increase of STDs or casual sex among millennials.

“What people forget is that Tinder is only five years old, and the hookup culture existed long before 2012,” he explained. “Moreover, there’s actually a rather long and ridiculous history of folks mistakenly blaming the latest new technology for some rise in sexual permissiveness.”

A century ago, people blamed automobiles. One state court judge even called the invention “a house of prostitution on wheels.” But Birger insists the rise of the norm-shattering, short skirt-wearing Flappers in the 1920s had nothing do with the growing popularity of vehicles -- it was America's post-war shortage of men.

“Some 10 million young men died during World War I, and another 20 million were injured, many grievously. This created an incredibly lopsided dating market after the war ended,” he said.

Be assertive

How can straight, college-educated single women hoping to find soulmates stack the odds in their favor?

"Once millennial daters understand why the culture is the way it is, they'll be in a better position to do something about it. Just because today's dating culture undervalues monogamy, that does not mean you can't go against the grain," Birger said.

His advice to millennial women –- make the first move if someone catches your interest. Confidence is a crucial part of dating.

“College-educated women who are willing to make the first move with men have a huge advantage. Given the demographics, there's less pressure on men nowadays to woo or pursue women. Women sometimes under-appreciate how much men like women who like them. A female who is assertive about pursuing the guy she likes will always have an advantage over the woman who sits back and waits for Mr. Right to woo her," he advised.

Don’t limit your options

The dating expert also hopes both genders will be more open-minded. Men and women typically seek out partners from similar educational backgrounds, which creates a problem because there are too many men in the blue-collar dating pool and too many women in the white-collar dating pool. The odds of a university graduate marrying a non-college graduate are lower today than at any point during the past 50 years.

“Not long after DATE-ONOMICS came out, I received an email from a woman who wanted to tell me she met her husband after she un-checked the college grad box when searching for dates on her online dating site. This woman had the right idea,” Birger said.

There's no shame in being single

Are you a happily single millennial woman who enjoys an active sex life with multiple partners? Great. Birger says there's nothing wrong with women who choose to fly solo.

"My intention is not to slam the hookup culture, nor to shame anyone who enjoys an active or non-traditional sex life. I understand marriage is not for everyone," he said. “But lots of millennial daters are fed up with amorphous relationships that never seem to progress to commitment.”

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