Dating a girl who is taller than you

Among the most important determinants of choosing a partner is appearance. For good or bad, physical attributes have always played a significant role in deciding who you want to go out with. Popular media often portrays desirable qualities in women as beautiful faces or curvaceous figures and the same in men as well-built and taller physiques. If all the stereotypes against shorter guys or for that matter taller women are getting you down, here are some tips on dating a girl taller than yourself.

Ignore the stereotypes

There are several sources of stereotypes about the ideal couple being one where the guy is at least a couple of inches than his female partner. One of these goes back to patriarchal roots of mainstream society in which boys were brought up to believe that their role is to act as the lord and master of the family and when girls were likewise conditioned to accept that their ‘destiny’ is to bow to the will of their male partner. Successive generations of such thinking gave way to cultural predisposition where the man was supposed to stand a head over –literally and symbolically - his female companion and in fact a woman was thought to be less feminine if she was of more than average height. Another theory for the bias in favor of tall men is forwarded by evolutionary science. In primitive times, when survival of individuals depended on physical strength, females naturally looked for partners who were physically fit, in other words tall and muscular. With successive generations this predisposition got strengthened with the result that women seemed to have been genetically wired to choose men taller than them.

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However you need to keep in mind that the conditions which may have given tall men an edge in the past are not relevant any more. These days, far more important factors in the search of a mate are financial resources, intellectual compatibility and sexual chemistry, none of which depend solely upon a man’s height.

Be confident

Now that you know that your height is not the only thing women are looking for, you need to get over this mind-block. If you feel intimated by a date who is taller than you, keep in mind the premise: She's fine with the fact that she's tall, let it be fine for you as well. Stop thinking about your relative heights when you are out together and especially about what anyone else may be thinking of the fact that she is tall and you are not. Instead focus on the qualities that you can bring to the dating table like perhaps a sense of humor, musical ability, well-established professional reputation or a fascinating account of your travels. All this should give you the confidence to go out with any woman you happen to hit off with, no matter what her height.

Avoid making it an issue

If you are going out with a woman taller than you, it could be due to one of two reasons – you are shorter than the average male in your society or she has more than the average female height. If it is the former, you already know what to do; in case your date is taller than usual, you need to treat her with consideration. Stay away from cheesy opening lines like “Gee, you're tall," "How tall are you?" and "Do you play basketball/volleyball?" Your date already knows that she is tall and going on and on about the fact will hardly endear you to her. Instead focus on the qualities that you find attractive in her – this could be anything from a lovely voice to culinary expertise and excellent driving skills. Tall about where she went to school, where she works now and ask about her favorite books or places. This will remove the focus from the height issue and bring it where it should – the chemistry between you two.

Treat her like a lady

Keep in mind that just like mainstream norms of sexual attraction are depicted in favor of tall men, they have been similarly biased against tall women. Women who have more than average height have been seen as somehow less than feminine in the past. Though now in a more egalitarian society, women are justly proud of their height and know how to carry themselves well, sometimes a kind of self-consciousness may linger. Willy-nilly tall women stand out of the crowd and at times long limbs can lead to a certain awkwardness.  Thus treat your date like a lady – just because she is taller than the average woman, doesn’t mean that she feels less feminine. Court her and woo her with flowers, poems and perfumes. Take her out to candlelight dinners and long drives through the countryside. Your date may be able to look at Chad Ochocinco in the eye, but deep inside she is like any other woman, so she will be floored if you treat her accordingly.

Talk about it

However if you find the difference in your respective heights too much of an issue, you may try talking about it – perhaps she is overly conscious of the fact that she is a good couple of inches taller than you or maybe it bugs you having to look up to her while talking. If you really like this woman and wish to get past this height thing, find a way to broach the subject casually. In a relationship, one of the most important skills is to be able to communicate with your significant other. Tell her that this is something that you may be sensitive about or even just that you don't want it to become an issue between you two – in all likelihood she won’t even care but you may feel better for having got it off your chest.